successful

thats all i wanna be.
the money the cars the clothes the hoes

you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy...

happy•adjective• delighted,joy,good feeling.
i haven't felt this way in a while its like everyday I'm fighting a war jst to love him more .
every week i find myself crying and dwn. and having sex w/ him jst makes me fall in love w/ him
even more. i remember when he was a junior and I was a sophmore and we use to tlk all night
and fall asleep on the phone. what happen to those days when you use to care abt my thoughts &
feelings. you tell me you love me but love doesnt hurt; i promise you it doesnt . i feel tht im making
a mistake when i move to KC and if i am, CALI here i am. ive never felt so naive in a relationship tht
im barely in. im trying my hardest cuz i love you ive cut off everyone jst to be w/ you.im doing so much
and im not getting shit in return and it hurts . i haven't smiled in a long time and i dnt think i know how.
maybe ill figure out soon one day.


you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skys are gray you'll never know
how, how much i love you so dnt take my sunshine away.....

i need a fast car.

too many feelings involved.

yeh thts it. thts all.

prom 09. & first kiss .

change is inevitable

ive deleted 20 people out of my contacts within 2 days.
im changing and their changing and i no longer need them in my life.
i now i've changed and ,hello change. i like the new me.
lately i've been more happier and i dnt know why.
but all is well.

him & i :

via txt: you need to figure out if you really wana be w/ me.
me:i do i jst need time to better myself and make things righ
so tht i wont hurt you because i love you.
him: bullshit. good excuse.
me: i loveyou

1 week later:
via txt: i need some time to better myself as a person so tht i
wont hurt u or make any mistakes that ive made in the past with my exs.
your the girl i see my self with a millie from now. your my everything.
i wana marrie you. i love you so much mykcah.
you understand? mykcah i love you.
me: wtfuuuxk. i jst said ths last week and look wut i get back in return?
huuh.

m and me are chill. i wnt more tho.
we've been tlkin for 1 month and shits not goin nowhere.
except to prom. i like him to much to sleep with him

& him i love him to much to actually cheat on him.
idk.

i broke my finger
=/
wtf

well im out.

yours truely.
meez

are you still down?

i know its been awhile.
between work and school. i have no play except for saturdays.
and not even then. im on my grustle. forreal. some have said ive changed.
nah' i havent amd if i have hello change. some say the attitude is real rude.
nah' it aint i just dnt give a fuck.

you can get it all.

damn right.

booski!

thas him :]

$$$$

i need a job.

boo hoo.

i keep promises.

sunshine.

the sun is shining and the weather is nice.

definitely gonna be a GOOD day.

post pics later.

houstatlantavegas.

especially when the lights so bright, and the money so right & its coming in every single night, she don't wana leave & she dance to the song

completion.

im glad that me and you are back together.

i cant even imagine you or me being with some one else.

and i know that i love you just as much as you love me.

love is needing someone ,love is putting up with someones

bad qualities because some how they complete you

and my love you complete me. you have taught me so much

and i thank you.

shhh.. continued

"I say what I mean & I feel what I say -

so I mean that I’m real when I say what I say."

im so tired of not hearing what i wanna hear.

dont call me to say whats up. i called to know

how u feel about the shit is going down w/ us, and you know that.

im glad to know that your back to your normal thinking state

and shxt but i want to know whats really whats up.

i was real w/ you so why cant you just be real w/ me huh?

come correct and leave correct. ive done so much to keep you in

my life and so much to please you so what do i have to do

to get back with you?

man stop beating around the bush and say whats really good.

huuh ,baby ,i love you

shhh...

just shut up. thats not what i wanna hear right. now.

to be continued....

better now than ever.

it was good to hear you voice today.

10:47 ,he called.

to ask me why i wanted to be with him

and why should i make this work.

he gave me butterflies and a reason to smile.

all over again.

see.

my eyebrows are really hairy.lol geez.

damn, you got it bad.

U Got It Bad - Usher

idk what to do .

i pulled this from the old archieves,today after a long days thinking

If you dress nicely, he says you’re a snob.
If you dress sexy, he says you’re a slut.
If you argue with him, he says you’re stubborn.
If you’re quiet, he says you’re stupid.
If you call him, he says you’re needy & clingy.
If he calls you, he says you should be grateful.
If you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you.
If you love him, he’ll leave you.
If you tell him your problems, he’ll say you’re irritating.
If you don’t, he’ll say you don’t trust him.
If you lecture him, he’ll say you’re bitchy.
If he lectures you, it’s because he "cares".
If you break a promise, you can’t be trusted.
If he breaks it, he had to.
If you cheat, he’ll expect it to be over.
If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.

and to be completely honest its true. more than true.
i just hate how the male mind thinks. i txtd him no
reply back his boy said he'll be back. and i know he'll be
or at least i hope. i dont know what to think anymore.
my mind is so far gone. and i dnt know what to do
to get his attention. someone help. plzzz.cuz i dont want
no body else but him.

nothing really matters anymore.

Missing you kills me everyday, I wish I could go back, way back, to when I woke up with a reason to smile, because I still had you. now i dont have a reason to wake up.

now i just rollover and go back to sleep cuz i dnt wanna feel the pain

and now i know that your officially gone it hurts even more. just when u think everythings good it gets worse. still cant cry. maybe when reality actually sets in i will.

off for a morning run.

yours truely- meez

Thanks, but no thanks. I'm as good as good gets.

yumm gidee ahhhh. i cant take it no more.

i just need you .

its not a GAME no more its a sport, if you aint got the heart to play then stay off the court.

& this is how i feel. its all about the game

yours truely,
meez.

o my gaaaaash.... your gone. gone.gone.

lovesick.

as im sitting here i think of what we could be

or could have been. it i didnt wanna tlk about

it but im gonna have to cuz tomorrow morning

when i wake up and begin to txt you "good morning"

i relize that its over and done. and it sucks.

cause no one likes a break and i'm not gonna fake it.

cuz i cant and im not gonna lie and say im not hurt and act like everythings

ok cuz its not. because deep down i know i would do anything to get you back.

knowing that you hurt me more than i hurt you and i put up more than u did.

its gonna be hard to replace you. because when it boils down to facts

we had good times and i loved you. im here for you and i hope that

we can remain good friends. i just hate that we spent time building something that the smallest, stupidest and littlest thing could tear town.

and it just shows it wasn’t a strong structure.

im not gonna cry, at least not right now but maybe later.

yours truley,
meez.

do you wanna be with me?

done.

the end.

only the strong survive.

and you can leave at the drop of a dime

"swallowed my fears, stood by your side
i shoulda left your ass a thousand times

well im not gon cry,im not gon cry,

im not gon shed no tears"

this is what i tell myself when you hurt me

and make me feel like im not good enough.

good night and good luck.

-meez.

good music.